ENEMY WITHIN!

I can't say I love him,

I won't deny it,

He means more to me,

More than life,

I can’t tell him,

I choose not to let him know.

Why? You ask,

Why? I ask,

Good question,

Why can't I let him know?

Letting him know means letting go,

Declaring my love to him makes me his slave,

Professing my love for him makes me weak,

In that weakness,

I begin to resent him,

In resenting him,

I resent me.

I begin to hate what I am,

What I saw in him and most of all what I love about him.

I start to push him away,

I keep to myself,

Keep away from him and later avoid him.

I will cry for him,

Yearn got him,

Crave for him,

Hate myself for letting him walk,

All of this I do in secret.

My soul is cold,

Mt heart is stone,

It’s funny,

What I long for is what I loathe most.

I am my own enemy.

© thelma migue, 2014.

A cizoepoetry collection