MY LOSS….MY GAIN

When he left me
I was ready to cut my heart out
And die
When he left me
I was ready to slash my wrists
And bleed till he came back
When he left me
I was so in love with love
I could not see how I could
Live without love
Living without him
Meant I was unlovable
Undesirable
Suicidal
He was my idol
I made him my world
He was my oxygen
He was my sun and moon.

I look back and realize
I was hurting
I do not hate myself
For loving him that way
It was just tragic
That it had to end
Though in a way
I am glad it ended
That was the only way
I began to love myself and my flaws
I do not have to see myself
Through another’s eyes
By beginning to love myself
That was the beginning of my healing.

©thelma migue, 2010

From the cizoepoetry collection