INCARCERATED THOUGHTS Part I

Stagnating in thought as you sit there and talk, it feels right when we are together and converse,
encircled with the dream of you and I
then the change of we when with others awkwardly feels wrong
forced, hidden and not to be brought up
staying silent was my mistake
scared to step into the run
the run to cover this mile of emotions of lust, love, trust, understanding,
trying to make myself care less and searching for faults for this to stop
whatever this is,
this seasonal sweet caress
then again, our being together made me care less
you took your stand and my seasonal thought came to mind and my silence made it worse
my mistake for not finding out history,
working on being strong and mysterious only to make the fall harder
the seasonal sweet caress  was bound to have its seasonal gravitational fall
the harder it is to penetrate and figure things out,
the more force is used
the more the marks are made
the more history got relayed
explaining my feelings won’t count as much,
I’m not counting to living a lie with you
it was certain that this did not exist,
just as I made the seasonal outcome not exist
and put an end to its life
it’s time to wipe off what I’ve bleed
the mix of hurt and hate would leave me for dead
I mattered less when with you,
the torment of you to care came to an end
smiling and nodding as we converse and silently waiting for you to hush,
 to wrap this up and head on to our mid morning rush
feeling the rise and fall in temperature with mixed emotions,
suppressing them with hidden signs,
from the hidden signs that I could have seen if not compelled,
time to be free and survive by myself,
better left forgotten,
thrown out together with the dirty rug of the dried up blood,
silence being the mistake,
now for it to be the certainty of wellness,
so I smile and leave these very thoughts unspoken.

Written by Silent.