TOTALLY MIXED!

My emotions are everywhere.
They are a mixture
Anger, disappointment, disbelief
I don’t know where to start or how to start getting them together.
It is like someone cast a spell.
It feels like last year all over again
The chill, goose bumps, the dread
How will I explain?
Where do I start?
I made so many plans
I looked forward to so much
All that was shattered this afternoon
My heart chooses to deny it
My mind keeps trying to drag me into reality
I will be a better person
I try to hold my tears
I am trying to be the bigger person
Geez, tell me if you were in my situation
What would you do?
I can’t get myself to tell her
I just can’t
I know she will be elated
Pointing the finger and giving the look of “I told you so”
I so know she will
I can almost see her expression
Hear her words
“What did I say?”
“You know I am always right?”
“When will you learn to listen to me?”
“If you had done things as per my instructions, this would not be happening”
It is like someone is pulling the strings in my life.
I have asked myself over and over and over again
Why does this have to happen to me?
Why do I always have to be the one disappointed?
When will all this end?
Can’t I be happy?
For once in my life I deserve a little happiness.
Honestly, this is how I feel and more.

©thelma migue, 2011

From the cizoepoetry collection