Why is it so hard? Why does life have to be so hard and so cruel? Why did you have to go and break my heart? Wasn't it enough to cheat on me? What did i do to deserve this? What crime did i commit to be punished this way? These are all the questions Angie had in mind as she sat in the pub with a shot of vodka. In the dark, as tears rolled down her cheeks, as she remembered the scene like it was just yesterday.
It wasn't long ago that she was on cloud nine. Rolling, winning and dinning with the love of her life. Whenever they were free, they spent it together. Her life was so intertwined in his, she forgot her friends. She stopped hanging out with her click, going to her favorite clubs. His time was her time. His life was her life. She hang out with his friends, accompanied him to the golf club and watched him play golf and goof around with his friends. All the while she made herself look pretty and was at his beck and call. Angie get this. Angie the drinks are over. Angie my back is aching, i think i need you r magical fingers to rub my back.
It did not take David long to convince her to move in with him. Despite her friends and family warning her and trying to change her mind. In spite of her better judgment she moved in. In the beginning life was good. He came home early, spoilt her, surprised her with little gifts, candle lite dinners, little treasure hunts. As they got used to each other, things became slow and ground to a halt. He stopped calling to say he would be late. He would walk in late and not give an excuse or a credible excuse. The writing was on the wall but she refused to see it. She was too much in love.
One weekend she decided to go to see her mum. It had been long since she was home and besides they needed to patch things up. Her mum did not approve of David. Despite, the lovely greetings and catching up and a little convincing from mum. Angie decided to go back to the house to get a few clothes for the week. They needed to do some major bonding.
Angie was nervous wondering what excuse she would give David. He was having office friends over the week and wanted her to play hostess as usual. Knowing that he'd gone for team building over the weekend with his colleagues made it a little bit easier. At least she would break it down over the phone.
The house was quiet. She walked in and there was a weird smell almost like take out. He must have come home early and decided not to cook. She thought to herself. The house was a mess, clothes strewn everywhere, the corridor, the sitting room, the dining, bathroom. What the hell went on here? Is it so hard for men to pick up after themselves? As she got closer to the bedroom the sound of mourning got louder. The door was a jar and the room was a mess. Clothes on the floor, the duvet and sheets on the floor. As her eyes followed the sounds, her heart stopped. Her screams caught in her throat, her chest began to feel heavy and her head felt light. The room started to spin, she reached out to grab the door to break her fall, then the room went black.
Angie woke up to find herself laying in bed and the curtains drawn. She got up to switch on the bedside light. Still in shock, it took her while to catch her breath and she was still dazed from the fall. She thought back to what she had seen when she walked into the room. Intertwined in the sheets, David and John locked in the moment of passion, tearing at each other. There was a third person or so she thought.
It would have made sense if it was a woman. But to walk in and find the man you have been sharing a bed with, sleeping with, sharing your life with and the one she loved with another man and to add insult to injury gay male stripper.
David walked into the room, an ice pack in one hand and John holding the other arm. The room turned cold. Angie stood up, anger in her eyes then began to sway again. David caught her before she fell and sat her gently on the bed.
David sat on the side on the bed and reached out to hold her hand but she pulled it back. Her skin crawled at the sight of him and all the love she had, began to turn to ice. So many questions flooded her mind.
“I am sorry you had to find out this way.” David said
“How long has this been going on? Why did you not tell me? Were you already gay before we met?” Angie asked
The questions rolled out one after another.
“ It all started when i was in high school. I had these feelings towards men. I tried to fight it. I went to confession and did penance. I knew i was different. All through university, i fought it. I thought i was cursed. I mean every guy in my class had more than one chic a night, while i was lonely in my room. I buried myself in my books. The more i fought, the stronger it became.” David continued
“ I did come out of the closet. Only my close friends and now you know about it. I am sorry you had to find out this way”. David said
Angie was speechless. There was nothing left to say.
As she packed her things and got ready to leave. She came across the pictures of their last vacation to the Seychelles. As she looked closer, something caught her eye. David was not looking at the camera, he was looking beyond. She took a closer look with the magnifying glass. She could not believe it. No wonder he looked vaguely familiar, he was the dude at the beach in Seychelles that David had made friends with.
The signs were all there. The disappearing acts, the little white lies, the disappearances in the middle of the night. All of a sudden John was part of the inner circle.
Written by ©thelma migue, 2009